Most video calls with kids follow the same script. 'Hi.' 'How are you.' 'How's school.' Then silence, or a wandering camera, or a kid who's already walked off to find something more interesting than the conversation. It's not that kids don't want to connect. It's that talking, on its own, isn't something most kids under twelve are built to sustain for very long. What keeps them on the call is having something to do, not just something to answer.
Here are twelve things that actually work, across the age range from toddlers to preteens, none of which require much more than a phone and whatever's already in the room.
1. Read the same book together
Grab the same book (or even just any two books, one on each end) and take turns reading a page each. Younger kids like being read to and being the reader in turns. Older kids will happily read a chapter aloud if it means holding the floor for a bit.
2. Draw the same prompt
Agree on something to draw ('draw your favorite animal doing something silly') and hold your drawings up to compare when you're done. Works from age three, where the drawing might be a scribble, right up through age twelve, where it becomes a genuine little art contest.
3. Cook or bake something in parallel
If the call happens to fall around a mealtime or snack, both people making the same simple thing gives the call a shared activity that doesn't need any planning. Even just showing each other what's in the fridge can turn into its own conversation.
4. A scavenger hunt
Call out an object and have the child find it and bring it back to the camera. 'Something yellow,' 'something that makes noise,' 'your favorite toy.' It buys a minute or two of anticipation and gets them moving, which younger kids especially need on longer calls.
5. Show and tell
Older, more familiar territory, but it works because it puts the kid in charge. Let them pick what to show. Ask a follow-up question about it instead of just saying 'cool' and moving on.
6. Build something out of whatever's around
Blocks, pillows, cardboard, whatever's on hand. Challenge each other to build something specific ('build the tallest tower you can in two minutes') and compare results on camera. This one works especially well with two kids on the same call, since it turns into a small competition.
7. A guessing game
Twenty questions, but stripped down for younger kids: pick an animal or object, give five yes-or-no clues, let the other person guess. Older kids can handle the full version and tend to enjoy stretching it out.
8. Tell a story together, one line at a time
Start with one sentence and take turns adding to it. No planning, no rules beyond 'it has to make at least a little sense.' Kids under seven will take the story somewhere completely unpredictable. Older kids often surprise you with how far they'll run with a plot.
9. A dance-off or freeze dance
Play music, dance, stop the music without warning. Whoever's still moving loses the round. Loud, a little chaotic, and it burns off energy that otherwise turns into restlessness five minutes into the call.
10. Homework help, but really working through it together
For school-age kids, offering to actually sit with them through a tricky worksheet or reading assignment turns a video call into something genuinely useful, and gives the grandparent or relative on the other end a real role instead of a passive one.
11. A shared screen or game
Whether it's a cartoon you both watch at the same time, or a simple shared game running in a second tab alongside the call, seeing the same thing together turns the call into shared presence rather than two people performing for each other. Apps like JoJu Kids sit open in a second tab during FaceTime, Zoom, or WhatsApp and give both people something to look at and do together, but the same effect works with nothing more than a shared cartoon or a game you already own.
12. Let them show you their world
A tour of their room, their toys, the tree outside their window, the drawing they made last week. Kids love being the guide rather than being asked questions, and letting them lead the call for a few minutes usually gets you more genuine conversation than any question you could have asked directly.
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None of these twelve things are complicated, and that's the point. What they all have in common is that they give the child a role, a job, something to actually do with their hands or their attention, instead of asking them to sit still and perform conversation the way an adult would.
You don't need all twelve. Most calls only need one or two of these to go from a few distracted minutes to something both people actually look forward to. Pick whichever fits the moment, the age, and how much energy everyone has that day, and the call tends to take care of itself from there.